ladies and gentleman, what is pizza? pizza, that midnight temptress by the slice. pizza, that essential building block of joy, defying of age or sobriety. an edible triptych of crust, cheese and tomato sauce. a blank canvas to cast all cravings upon. ambassador of good moods. nostalgia’s welcoming embrace. gatherer of friends.

one thing is certain: pizza is fucking tasty. let it be said that all pizzas are welcome in this forum, despite any fluctuation in toppings, origin or substitutions. no need to get wacky over the proud details of each style’s ever-arguably superior features. why judge pizza so harshly when it does nothing but love you just the way you are. consider this: if you’ve enjoyed a cheesy slice in the last 7 years, there’s a small part of you, thanks to a series of complex chemical reactions, that is pizza. with the remainder turning into poop.

just as with the freedom of pizza act of 2014 contracted not two minutes ago, pairings will not be limited to wine alone. there is a whole world of delightful beverages that may or may not go very well with some or any choice of pie. only one way to find out for certain, so let’s begin.